What The Hell Is Squash?
By Robert Ferringo
Real quick one here - just because I saw this while I was blogging the college basketball conference tournament schedules - about the dude from Trinity College and the squash highlights that ESPN is running.
I’m of two minds of the “highlight” (apparently they won like their one-millionth straight game and their 12th straight national title) but had to chime in on the shot of the douchebag on Trinity scoring the title-winning point and then getting in the face of the Yale player (figures Yale would be good at squash) and screaming like a maniac.
First, that guy is a douchebag. I mean, buddy, IT’S SQUASH. You are a SQUASH PLAYER! And you have to realize that you just look like a dick. The kid was twice the size of the Yale dude and for a tem that’s won about 1 billion straight matches you would think they’d be able to “act like they’ve been there”. Instead, I hope this kid gets torn up by all the whiny sportswriters, the assclowns on ESPN (please be a segment Around the Horn, please be a segment on Around the Horn - wait, is that show still on TV? - please be a segment on Around the Horn) and the Knee-Jerk, Overreactionary, Blow-Everything-Out-Of-Proportion, Instant Punditry Media Monster that our society now lives and dies with. (Remember that coach that was fired after his high school girls team won like 100-0? I hope this is worse. Because, in my opinion, this dick was way more unsportsmanlike than the coach of that team. This would be like if that coach or his players were screaming in the faces of those opposing girls during/after the game.) I mean, the same people that got dodgeball banned in schools across the country (pussies) should have a field day with the big, bad bully picking on the little Yale squash dork.
On the other hand, I think it’s pretty funny. And I can’t go too nuts on it because I have done the same thing, plenty of times, in my career. But then again, I never said I wasn’t a dick too.
So go get ‘em Crazy Media Machine. Tear up those unrepentant assholes on the Trinity squash team! Have no mercy!
Update: The dickhead’s name is Baset Chaudhry, a senior, and the goofy, terrified kid is freshman Kenneth Chan. Funny, if this had been a big white guy doing this to a black guy or vice versa, you think anyone would have played the race card? Apparently no one cares when it’s two foreign-sounding elitist tools. Oh, and apparently not only did Chaudhry get right in the little dude’s face, but allegedly Chaudhry went back and tried to push Chan after first celebrating with his other Trinity teammates.
Update 2: I’m obviously not the first on the story, but I did beat Deadspin. And now that it’s on there you can bet it’s going to spread quickly.
